Mums who sell sex.
My knowledge of the ups and downs of British mums who decide to support their families by providing sexual services comes first hand. I’m Madam Becky Adams, a veteran of many years owning escort agencies, massage parlours and brothels in the market towns of the Home Counties. With the reality TV series ‘Personal Services’, books, chat show appearances’ and newspaper coverage I have sought to show the British public the normality, community and even empowerment that ladies can find when they cross over to what many judge as ‘the dark side’ and become for want of a better term a ‘sex worker’.
If we accept at a rough estimate that there are approximately 100,00 ladies in the UK currently working as escorts, prostitutes or masseuses. Stats show that around 30,000 of them are working on the streets and have found themselves in that situation from possibly coercion, poverty and or drug dependency. Where do the other 70.000 come from?
The 70,000 plus ladies who are not working on the streets of the UK will be based in massage parlours, ‘working’ flats or for escort agencies. Some good, some bad, most illegal.
Some ladies will have decided that they prefer to work as ‘Independent’ escorts, and manage their own clients, marketing, and accommodation. In the UK it’s legal to see clients as an ‘Indie’ in your own home, although dangerous and unadvisable. You are legally allowed to rent a flat in which to entertain your gentlemen, alone, with no third party assistance, receptionist or security. Foolish and dangerous laws that we constantly campaign against.
The majority of ladies who join the sex industry will be relying on third party agencies or management to keep them safe and provide punters. Un-licensed flats and parlours are illegal in the UK, so working from these carries with it the constant threat of a police raid.
As it is not illegal to be a prostitute and you are allowed to be selling sex, ladies found working during raids are rarely arrested or charged. The Police raids are focused on those running the parlours, the Madams (like me), drugs, under aged or trafficked girls.
These 70,000 ladies will have decided, as with any other job, to work either full or part time. Massage parlours and flats will normally have set shifts, so a lady can decide which day she wishes to work and may chose to work in several different locations thus creating a wider client base. Escort agencies who provide ladies for ‘out-calls’, (a girl taken to a client’s home or hotel by a driver) will generally have most of their bookings throughout the night. A popular way of working for those with young families who wish to be at home during the day.
You may be surprised that I’m making it sound so normal, well, to thousands of us it is.
Not the excitement and glamour of Belle de Jour, but ordinary mums that you’ll chat to at the school gates or swimming lessons. Who’ll drop the kids off at 8.45, go home and collect their condoms and stockings before making their way to an ordinary flat in an ordinary street for their first client at 11am.
Nearly everyone who becomes an escort does so for the fast money.
It may be a decision that has taken months or even years to make. Separation or divorce often means dramatic financial hardship for women left alone with children. A large, unpayable bill falls onto the mat. In panic and desperation a woman will often make her initial call to an escort agency. Receptionists at agencies will rarely speak candidly and openly when asked for information, always wary of police and media. Therefore the lady will be invited to come for an interview.
Many ladies go no further than the interview, deciding that having sex with a stranger for money is not the job for them. Those who do will enter a whole new world with unique experiences and terminology. .. Those who take the plunge will often find themselves in a self imposed trap that is hard to escape. Not a trap of abuse or violence, but one of money. Quick, plentiful money on a daily basis.
A good escort can earn up to £500 a day in a busy establishment. But at what cost?
Being an escort can be an isolating existence, forcing you to lie to your family and friends. The judgement of others is often harsh and cruel, making it impossible to share your experiences with those outside the industry. Personal relationships can be disrupted or destroyed, and the perpetual living a lie can take its toll on a ladies emotional well being. Many of those who have worked as escorts say they now find it impossible to trust men, and embarking on an intimate personal relationship becomes difficult to say the least.
With the wide use of the internet by businesses selling sex it can also be difficult for sex workers to remain incognito. Often agencies will insist a new ladies photo (may be with face covered) appears on the company website, but people are easily recognisable by past lovers and family. Many an accusation has been made to social services by jilted partners’ who have access to an ex’s escort profile on-line. It’s a problem that needs serious consideration, especially for those who have escaped abusive relationships or have custody issues.
Strangely enough, justifying new found wealth can be taxing, especially as it’s difficult to talk openly about how and where you’ve earned it. Once you become accustomed to earning well on a daily basis it takes a strong resolve to leave escorting and resume regular work. I have known many ladies desperate to retire from prostitution, but who have created luxurious lifestyles that are impossible to maintain on a regular salary. Keeping them stuck in the sex for sale rut year after year.
It is obvious to many that working flats will have an abundance of cash on the premises. Sometimes a lady is attacked, robbed or beaten up. This is less likely in well run establishments where adequate security systems are in place, but it may happen. It is also possible, although unusual that you’d be arrested during a police raid and charged with various offences.
STI’s are surprisingly not a common problem in the industry. The majority of escorts find the idea of any form of unprotected sex abhorrent. Steps are taken to stay safe, but occasionally a condom will split or a foolish or unscrupulous client will try to remove a condom and engage in unprotected sex. It is an anxious and distressing wait for test results for those girls who have unfortunately suffered these problems.
Many working girls who wish to retire will open their own agencies or parlours. I always think it is safer to work for these establishments run by women. Men involved in the escort business often have unhealthy ulterior motives, and it is not unheard of for owners or drivers to pester their staff for sex, or help themselves if favours are not given freely. Blackmail and threatening behaviour can be used to control girls wishing to leave, and often girls do not feel safe contacting the police for help. Leaving them stranded, trapped and in danger of rape and violence.
As the recession deepens and unemployment grows, more and more women will consider sex work as an option for feeding their families. In the battle for jobs throughout the UK, which is by far the most promiscuous society in the western world, the unemployed are abandoning their sexual reservations’ and joining the ‘Sexession’ as the tabloids have re-named it.
Below is an article from The Sun. August 6 2010
‘’We joined sex trade to beat resession’’
It was estimated that in 2009 that £4.2 billion was spent by British lads on porn, lap-dancer and prostitutes. If you are thinking of joining in, remember to be careful, think twice and never do anything that feels wrong or uncomfortable. Not all that glitters is gold... Not even for an extra 50.